Shaking Up Success: Ice Cube, Frenemies, and the Power of Mindset

Stirring things up with Ice Cube

This week’s blog is all about abundance vs scarcity mindset. Since this month is all about Mental Health and Mindset, this newsletter is throwing three things together that you’ll never see coming: Ice Cube, Frenemies, and Sara Blakely. I know, you’re on the edge of your seat…..

There she is, that entrepreneur on your social media feed. She seems to have her sh*t together, she’s always doing some photoshoot in some exotic location, she’s got a 6 pack, seems to have 900 friends, and no problems. Her “messy” days seem like way above-average days compared to everyone else’s and she flaunts her wealth because she’s made a sh*t ton of money on her own. She seems to be crushing it, but you’re also just not sure. You’re rooting for her, but also….. dare I say it…..you’re really not. 

The Frenemy Follow, I’m totally guilty. 

One day when I was talking with another entrepreneurial friend of mine, I was showing her another entrepreneur that I follow on Instagram. A lot of what I was saying was, “How does she….” “How does this…” “This doesn’t make sense….” “Must be nice….” 

None of what I said was supportive, nice, or encouraging. There was so much tearing down. I realized it, and my friend realized it. I hate that I was like that. 

I was comparing, I was judgemental, and I was a total hater. Who cares how it all works, why it all works, or what part of her business she does herself? If I don’t like it, why am I consuming it? Want to hear the best part of this entire story that makes me laugh now, the person I was Frenemy Following doesn’t even know I exist. Yup, never met her. Never talked to her. *Facepalm* She doesn’t give a f*ck what I think because she doesn’t even know I’m a real person. 

Thankfully my friend didn’t judge me, she told me she had done the same thing. She said she actually just recently unfollowed her Frenemy Follow, and in doing so, it ended up creating so much space in her brain. She was no longer overwhelmed with constant comparison, and she wasn’t constantly seeing her frenemy in her feed. 

So thanks to her, I did the same. Honestly, it’s been such a relief to give me permission to unfollow and the accountability to cut that sh*t out because it’s totally f*cking ridiculous that I did that. Dear Erin, get your sh*t together.  

Comparison on social media is a real thing, it’s even been studied. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, there is a strong correlation between time spent on platforms like Facebook and Instagram and increased feelings of depression and loneliness. These feelings are usually created because of the perception that everyone else is succeeding and we/you/me are falling behind in some way. This seems way more prevalent to me in the entrepreneurial world and in the world of “I used Instagram to make $12,000 per day.” 

When entrepreneurs are in constant comparison mode it can crush confidence and creativity because the mindset shifts to comparison instead of innovation. 

Seriously though, how often do you walk into another business or see another business and wonder “How does this all work?” That question can be asked in two ways: out of curiosity or out of judgment. 

There are two ways to dive into this entrepreneurial comparison situation:

• Business way: Create a competitive analysis, but only if that frenemy is ACTUALLY your competition. As in, if you own a decorate-your-own-waffle-cone-ice-cream shop in a suburb of Kansas City, the frenemy would ALSO own a decorate-your-own-waffle cone-ice-cream shop in that same suburb of KC. Chances are that’s not the case….so let’s move on to the next one…

• Abundance vs Scarcity Mindset:  This means check yo’ self, before you wreck yo’ self. Ice Cube’s famous words are etched into the stones of 90s rap greatness, and now this newsletter. But seriously, realizing when you are saying things like “(Person) has more” is actually saying more about yourself than it is that person…i.e. “I don’t have enough [insert time, money, energy, priorities, or thing that is lacking to achieve the desired goal.]” On the flip side, an abundance mindset is shifting your focus to what your vision is and what could be possible. 

A perfect example of an abundance mindset entrepreneur: the one and only Sara Blakely. Sara Blakely is a BFD and someone I definitely admire. She says, “Mindset is to an entrepreneur is what physical strength and capacity is to an athlete. It’s the single most important thing you have as an entrepreneur….Work on it daily.” If you’re interested she has a class on “Self-Made Entrepreneurship” with Masterclass. 

What I’ve noticed about her over and over is that she is always talking about visualizing your success and setting goals around that vision. She also talks about finding places for innovation, not taking NO for an answer, not undermining your problems, and embracing ignorance.  

That’s a much different conversation and mindset than frenemy following. The biggest difference is that scarcity mindset comes from fear or insecurity, whereas the abundance mindset is all about possibilities, opportunities, and gratitude. 

You ready? It’s time to take a Reality Inventory:

Check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self. Head to your social media and do some scrolling… Did a frenemy pop up? I’m not telling you that you HAVE to unfollow…I’m just saying…

Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I unfollowed this person?”  

Once again, the choice is yours - and most likely it’s all based on that single question above. But *cough* *cough* if they don’t even know who the f*ck you are - the worst thing that could happen is…….what?!?!?

Don’t compare and despair. Get present and change the narrative. 

Going from frenemy follow to cultivating an abundance mindset can truly transform not only your social media feed but yourself.  This isn’t just about unfollowing people or burning bridges, especially because they trigger you and your insecurities in some way, it’s about recalibrating your mindset of how you view yourself and your entrepreneurial ventures. 

Recognize if you’re in constant comparison. Envision what’s possible. Embrace Opportunities. Appreciate what you have…. That’s like 4 things, no big deal. 

Ultimately, the choice to unfollow is yours.. But consider this—what could you achieve if your energy was spent on innovation rather than envy? How much more could you grow if your feed became a source of inspiration rather than frustration?

Don’t forget to check yo’ self, before you wreck yo’ self, to create freedom from constant comparison and truly create what’s possible. Remember, you are courageous, capable, and strong.